


he'd have rather just mucked the stables

by murakamism



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Canon Era, Humor, M/M, kind of, poor Jean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 20:46:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4152345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murakamism/pseuds/murakamism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean just couldn’t see them the same way ever again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	he'd have rather just mucked the stables

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams/gifts).



> suggested by my101fragiledreams on tumblr: _It was Jean's fault that the dirty bucket of water fell on Levi's head. So why did Levi seem to be planning Eren's murder instead of the horseface? ...The suspiciously gone horseface._
> 
> I just wanted to fuck with Jean. This was really fun to write. Unbeta'd. Please don't take this seriously. :’)

See, Jean should’ve been in Levi’s new squad long enough to know that horsing around— _ha,_ Eren would laugh at himself if he wasn’t fearing for his own life—would lead to nothing but trouble. Usually trouble for Jean while Eren laughed from the sidelines, but this time Kirstein had dragged him in.

Eren was going to kill him. After he finished regenerating whatever limbs he’d end up losing, that is.

They were cleaning near the stairwell. With mostly Eren cleaning and Jean complaining, though, they ended up fighting again. It was one of the few times Eren had indulged him these days, and he really started to regret it.

In their haste Jean ended up knocking over a bucket full of dirty water. It tumbled over the landing, water spilling all over the stairs. Eren was ready to knock Jean upside the head, about to yell at him for making an even bigger mess.

He had no opportunity, because at that moment he swore he could feel something _prickling_ at his nape.

Eren spun around and almost stepped back when he found himself standing face-to-chest with a sopping wet Captain Levi. The man glared up at him—not unlike a drowned rat but also not unlike a murderous titan-killer—and Eren stumbled backwards.

“Captain Levi!” Eren exclaimed. He managed a rigid salute, face paling. Captain Levi’s eyes narrowed even further. He took a step forward. Droplets of water fell from his sleeve.

“Eren.” Levi said, and in that single utterance of Eren’s name the boy felt his knees go weak.

There were many instances in Eren’s short but painful life that were enough to give him nightmares, but coupled with both the fear and guilt that he felt right now, well...

“We’re very sorry, Captain!” Eren immediately said. He turned his head to nudge Jean, tell him to speak up too—he wasn’t suddenly mute now, was he? But Jean wasn’t there beside him. Eren whipped his head around, eyes growing wide as the realization dawned on him.

Jean wasn’t here. It was just him and the Captain.

That traitorous horse-faced _shitmonger._

Levi took another step, his scowl almost imperceptibly growing angrier, and Eren’s back straightened out even further.

“That was Jean!” he almost stuttered out. Levi raised a brow, unamused. Eren struggled to find the right words. “We’re very sorry! I’m very sorry! He’s an idiot. I’m an idiot. We—ah—I’ll go get you a towel—“

Eren spun around, ready to bolt for the nearest linen closet. Before he could take another step Levi grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him backwards. Eren yelped, his legs collapsing underneath him.

“That was fucking disgusting,” Levi said, his voice flat. His lip curled in disgust and Eren only stared at him wordlessly, his brows furrowed in worry. “Come with me.”

Levi wasn’t going to beat him into submission, right? He was secretly too kind for that, Eren knew. Maybe he was just going to have to redo all the floors, clean the bathrooms for a month, muck out the stables every morning, yeah, he could survive that...

“Yes sir—“

Levi stomped off, still dripping filthy water onto the newly-mopped floors. He dragged Eren along with him, the younger boy’s long legs struggling to keep up from his position.

When they disappeared around the corner Jean counted to ten before stepping out of a nearby supply closet. He felt guilty for leaving Eren to his death like that, but the Captain liked him way better, didn’t he? If Levi was dragging Eren off like that then imagine if that had been _Jean._

He hastily dragged the mop across the wet floors once before sprinting away to hide, preferably on a higher shelf.

 

 

By the time dinner came around, Jean still hadn’t seen either Eren or Captain Levi ever since the afternoon’s incident. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, glancing around the officers’ tables and the dining hall entrance every now and then. He was so distracted Sasha managed to steal some of his rations again, but he really didn’t care.

“Is something wrong?” Armin asked. He raised a concerned brow and Jean forced a nonchalant shrug.

“No, it’s.... nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

They were quiet for a while.

“Eren hasn’t come down to dinner again,” Armin mused. Mikasa had gone out to find him sometime a while ago, but even she gave up. She ate dinner a few seats away, and Jean lowered his voice hoping that she wouldn’t hear anything.

“The idiot probably got himself into trouble again, huh?” He laughed awkwardly. Armin frowned.

“Do you know _something_?”

Jean refused to meet the blond’s eyes, instead focusing on his meal. Tonight’s water-flavored stew was suddenly much more appetizing, really, Armin, stop _staring._ Yum. Right.

The boy’s blue eyes were still scrutinizing him, just from the reflection of the spoon this time, and Jean growled and turned away.

“Jean?” Armin asked again. He looked legitimately concerned this time. Jean groaned.

“Why do you assume I know _something?”_

“I’m not assuming—“ Armin began, but Connie cut him off. The bald boy elbowed Jean none-too-gently in the shoulder.

“Whew, did something happen? You’re being suspicious tonight,” Connie asked, grinning. Jean tried to elbow him back but the boy moved away, shielding his face with his arms.

“Leave me alone,” Jean grumbled, turning away. Connie was trying to speak up again so he pushed his bowl aside and swatted away the shorter boy’s hands.

“I’m done,” he mumbled, hurrying out of the dining hall.

 

 

The sooner Jean got to bed, he decided, the sooner things would be okay.

Then again tomorrow he’d probably be skinned alive, right after Jaeger, and he didn’t look forward to that.

He shuddered. He’d decided to take a walk through headquarters. The corridors were dim and empty, the only sounds that of his footsteps. A little peace and quiet would help calm him down. By morning all of this would be forgotten...

A little more light spilled into the corridor around the corner. Jean frowned and turned into it, wondering where it was coming from. Oh, the showers, right.

Very few people actually used it at night because it lacked hot water. Still, there were voices coming from inside. Right as Jean passed by his ears perked up. He stopped in his tracks, because that was definitely Eren’s voice.

“ _Levi—“_ A groan. “Someone. Might. _See—“_

“Didn’t I make it clear that was part of your punishment?” Came a lower voice, one that Jean recognized as Captain Levi’s. He instantly felt a shiver run down his spine. The captain’s voice softened then, sounding almost sultry. He almost _purred_. Jean really wished he hadn’t fucking heard that. “Besides, it excites you. You can’t deny what your body says, _Eren._ ”

Another groan. A gasp. A low chuckle, almost muffled, as if the person’s mouth were pressed up against something else.

Jean shuffled away as quickly as he could, trying to calm himself down as heat enveloped his face.

 

 

The next day went by surprisingly well.

Jean did see both Eren and Captain Levi at training. They looked the same, with complete limbs, and neither of them mentioned anything about yesterday’s mishap. Eren was still intense as fuck during training. The Captain still glared at everything. Really. Didn’t his eyes ever hurt from all that squinting? Jean thought.

Ah, well.

Breakfast was slightly more edible and less burned than yesterday’s. Training was a breeze. Jean didn’t have that many chores. He was on his way outside to take a break when he ran into Commander Erwin in the corridors.

Literally.

The Commander asked him politely—but it was manipulation, that’s what it was, thought Jean bitterly right afterwards once his arms were full with papers—to deliver some papers to Captain Levi’s office. He’d done it with such a charming smile and a comforting pat on Jean’s shoulder.

Jean sighed and made his way to the captain’s office, just wanting to get this over with. The day was fair and bright, and he wanted to spend it napping outside, maybe. He shuffled the papers and balanced them on the crook of his elbow, clearing his throat as he lifted a fist to knock on the door.

_“Yes, yes, yes!”_

His fist froze, hovering over the wood.

If he strained his ears Jean could hear a grunt. Something loud rattled from inside the room. Like maybe a chair sliding across the floor...

“ _Good boy,_ ” That was definitely Captain Levi’s voice, but much... lower and darker than Jean was used to.

And then a high-pitched whine.

 _“So_ _good—“_

Whelp.

Captain Levi obviously wouldn’t be giving these documents the urgent reading they needed.

He also definitely wouldn’t appreciate an interruption, right?

Yes. Right.

Jean stalked off, his ears particularly warm.

 

 

The next time Jean saw Eren, he glared at the green-eyed brunet.

It was bad enough Eren was getting laid more than Jean was—although _any_ amount of screwing above zero would be more action than Jean was getting, he loathed to admit—but did he really have to do it with _Captain Levi?_

Jean couldn’t see them the same way ever again.

He narrowed his eyes as Eren enthusiastically spoke to Armin about something. He grinned wide and laughed hard, his eyes squeezing shut. Jean scanned his exposed neck for anything like a hickey or a bite mark, but there was none.

Hm.

Eventually Eren left Armin and ran off to fuck-knows-where. Before the blonde boy could walk away Jean approached him. Armin was Eren’s best friend, so he probably could confirm or deny Jean’s suspicions, right?

Also, if he didn’t tell someone about what he had experienced, Jean was convinced he’d go insane.

“Hey, Armin,” Jean called out. Armin turned back to look at him, blinking up curiously.

“Hi, Jean,” Armin replied. Jean approached.

“So, do you think Jaeger and Captain Levi are screwing?”

Just throw it right there, Jean. Straight to the point like the man you are.

Armin blinked at him, his face blank.

A second passed. Maybe two. Maybe three.

Armin’s eyebrows scrunched up.

“I don’t know,” Armin replied. “Why are you asking me this?”

“You’re his best friend, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am.”

“So you’d _know._ ”

Armin gave Jean a long-suffering look. It was almost a dismissive sigh without being a dismissive sigh. Jean felt stupid. He held his hands up in defeat.

“I was just wondering.”

You couldn’t blame me, could you? Jean wanted to ask.

It had just been bothering him lately, damn it...

 

 

Jean was about to doze off under the shade of a tree. He’d taken a break and the weather was great. There weren’t even any bugs. For him that meant it was good enough for a nap. Sitting outside and not freezing his ass off for once was a pretty good change of pace, if you asked him.

That is, until his eyes were forced to snap open.

There was a very _familiar_ groan from behind a tree several feet away.

In the _forest?_ _Fucking-really?_

Jean whipped his head to the side. The noise was from a slightly larger tree to his right. There it was again, that throaty moan, and Jean scowled.

He stood up, still grumpy from his interrupted nap. He knew interrupting Captain Levi was a death wish, but they were in _public_ , they should expect it—

He didn’t know the Survey Corps was full of exhibitionists!

Well, two exhibitionists, but, you know, same thing.

_“Ah—“_

_“Hnng,”_

_“Ah, there!”_

Jean was going to crush Jaeger’s dick under his boot if it ever popped up in his vision—

“Will you please stop!” Jean cried out. He shut his eyes tight, realizing that maybe they were _naked_ , you know, he really didn’t want to see that—

He expected a punch in the face or something, but his body was surprisingly pain-free. He slowly opened one eye. And then the other.

Eren and Captain Levi stared up at him from behind the tree. They were both fully-clothed. In fact, there was a shit-eating grin on Eren’s face, and even Levi had an amused twinkle in his eye.

“Um. What.” Jean said, because he was clearly the most coherent of soldiers.

The most intimate thing Eren and Captain Levi were doing, clearly, was sitting under the tree. Their sides were pressed up together, and one of Eren’s long legs was entangled with Levi’s own. Eren was snickering, and if Jean concentrated hard enough he could swear he saw a shadow of a smile on the stoic Captain’s face. Said Captain snorted softly, his head on his younger companion’s shoulder.

“That’s what you get for being an ass,” Eren told Jean. He grinned even wider. “Do you know how many days I’ve had to muck the stables?”

“So you two aren’t...” Jean said instead, blinking in confusion. Levi finally spoke up.

“I could have made you clean the bathrooms for two weeks,” the captain began. He raised a perfectly smug brow. “But Eren suggested fucking with you.”

“Ha ha,” Jean sang, voice flat. “Fucking hilarious.”

Eren snickered again. “You should’ve seen your _face—“_

“Right. Right.” Jean interrupted, narrowing his eyes. At least he wouldn’t _have_ to muck out the stables for a week straight... Right? He turned away, ready to leave.

“Wait.”

Levi’s voice was firm. Jean swallowed and turned to look at him.

“You’re on stables duty until next week,” Levi told him, voice level, and Jean inwardly groaned.

Eren looked much too happy next to the captain. Jean glared at him.

“Shut the fuck up, you weren’t actually getting laid, were you?” Jean snapped, almost accusing.

“Don’t be so bitter, Jean,” Eren replied. “Go find a cute mare or something.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “That was weak,” he mumbled. Eren glanced at him, his eyes instantly softening, and Jean frowned as he watched the two of them pointedly ignore him.

The captain said something too quiet for anyone but Eren to hear. The younger boy smiled, eyes transfixed on his captain as the man leaned forward to capture his lips in one quick, close-mouthed kiss.

Jean turned away.

Un-fucking-believable.

That was definitely laughter from behind him.


End file.
